Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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