you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
