is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
