you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
