Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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