You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
