is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
