whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
