After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
