i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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