the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Princesses don't give blow jobs
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Shame is for Republicans.
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