the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
