at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
