It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
