Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
