put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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