found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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