I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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