theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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