help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
