So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize