We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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