i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
