If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
