so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
