I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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