is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
