**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
