She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
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I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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