I just saw a hot homeless man
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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