Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I need a beard to bite.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
