well I can't set my house on fire every night
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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