Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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