I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
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