I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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