Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I want you more than these girls want KFC
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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