babies were throwing up all over the place
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
