i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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