Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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