She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize