i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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