You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
