my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
where are you?
Hypothermia
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
