So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
is it fun? or sober?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
