This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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