Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Come on in and take your pants off
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