Can i not drive my cunt home
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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