after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
