this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize