I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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