It's Friday. Sex?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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