Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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