David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
