I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
