She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
