I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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