I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
