No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
