And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
