my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I love you. Go after that dick
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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