At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
