I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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