Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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