pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
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I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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