should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
