the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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