I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
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