When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
